Digital abuse is a form of domestic abuse that can occur both during a relationship and after separation. It can include checking your phone without your consent, tracking your location, reading your messages, accessing your personal accounts or controlling your money through banking apps.
Digital abuse does not only involve threatening or insulting messages. Sometimes, control is exercised discreetly through apps, passwords, online accounts or connected devices. A person may be monitored without their knowledge, become afraid to speak freely on the phone or lose control over their own money.
What can your phone reveal?
A smartphone contains far more information than may be apparent at first glance. Its camera, microphone and sensors can capture images, sounds or movement-related information, depending on the active apps and their permissions. Your phone can also store information about the places you visit, the people you communicate with and your online activities.
Every smartphone is usually connected to an online account, which may contain photos, contacts, location history, message backups, call history or other personal information.
If your current or former partner knows your password, has access to your account or has connected another device to it, they may be able to view certain information without your knowledge. This is why it is important to check which devices are connected to your personal accounts and remove unwanted access, when it is safe to do so.
How does digital abuse manifest itself?
Digital abuse can take many forms, including:
checking your phone, messages, photos or browsing history without your consent;
demanding your passwords and access to your personal accounts;
tracking your location through GPS, apps or location-sharing features;
repeated calls and messages to constantly check where you are and who you are talking to;
installing monitoring apps without your knowledge or consent;
accessing your email and social media accounts;
threatening to publish photos or private information.
Your partner does NOT have the right to monitor you constantly or control your digital life!
Banking apps on your partner’s phone: a form of digital and financial abuse
An important issue that can easily be overlooked is the installation or use of your banking app on your current or former partner’s phone without your consent. Accessing a bank account without authorisation may constitute a form of financial abuse and, depending on the circumstances, may amount to fraud.
If your partner knows your login details, uses your phone to authorise transactions or connects their own device to your banking app without permission, they may be able to view your balance, transactions and other financial information or carry out transactions, depending on the bank’s security measures.
If you suspect that your banking app can be accessed from another device, contact your bank!
Ask the bank to check which devices are registered for access, whether there are any active sessions you do not recognise, and how you can revoke unwanted access. Ask the bank to block the access!
If you notice transactions you did not authorise, inform your bank immediately. Explain clearly that you did not make or approve those transactions and that you suspect unauthorised access or fraud. Ask the bank to investigate the transactions and whether you are eligible for a refund. Refunds are not automatic, and the bank will assess the circumstances and the applicable rules.
How can you protect your phone and accounts?
If you suspect that your phone is being monitored, it is important to act carefully. Some changes may alert the person monitoring you and increase the risk of abuse.
Use a safer device. Contact a trusted friend, family member or specialist service using another phone or a secure computer, for example at a library or at work.
Change your passwords. Check the connected devices and remove any you do not recognise, if it is safe to do so.
Enable your phone’s screen lock. Use a passcode your partner cannot guess. Avoid codes based on personal information that is easy to find out.
Check location sharing.
Check your apps and permissions. Review which apps have access to your location, microphone, camera, contacts and photos. Do not immediately delete suspicious apps if doing so could put you at risk or destroy evidence.
Block abusive numbers. Keep relevant messages before deleting them and consider saving evidence somewhere your partner cannot access.
Contact your bank and mobile phone provider. Ask them to check for unauthorised access, connected devices and any changes made to your accounts.
If you are in immediate danger, call 999.
Remember: you have the right to privacy, safety and control over your own accounts and money. It is not your fault if someone monitors you or accesses your accounts without your consent. Ask for help whenever you need it!
Source: Secure my phone guide - Use tech safely | Refuge Tech Safety
If you need advice, our helplines are available Monday to Wednesday, 10 am to 4 pm:
PL/LT/EN: 07521857415
RO/EN: 07730021986
UA/RU/EN: 07718612218
This is in line with the information available as of 22/10/2026.